Now this post is about the little boy and myself.
The place is at Jurong West St91( So I thought its really near NTU, unfortunately I realised its not so near after all.) ANyway I was offered $20 for an hour of teaching kiddie stuff on Thursday evening. The agent mentioned that I had to teach Hanyu Pinyin and English.
I had conjured up a mental image of the boy and his family.
1. The parents must be rich. Why else would they want to blow $20 an hour on their K1 kid?
2. They must be very busy, hence they have no time to read to their baby.
3. They can't speak or write Chinese at all, (Super Ang Moh type), hence they need someone to come in and speak some Mandarin to their kid and pronounce the Hanyu Pinyin way.
I was so wrong. Totally off tangent.
1. The parents are NOT rich. There are 6 people - Grandpa+Grandma+Dad+Mum+Kid+Baby living in a sparsely furnished 3 room flat.
2. Once again the agency got it wrong. I must be cursed.. The mother says she only wanted help with English. Says she can speak some English but nobody in the house speaks English to the kid so she wanted someone to come and speak to him as his standard is below average. (She sounded Malaysian to me.)
And so I had come with a Hanyu Pinyin and English guidebook as instructed by the agent who messed up and the mother very kindly reassured me that its okie, that she can keep the chinese book for later use and paid me the money for the books.
That brings me to a problem here. As much as I want the cash, i don't think there is much i can do for the kid. Unlike the very noisy Primary One class who couldn't keep silent for more than 3min and drove me nutty, he doesn't talk to me much. I doubt I have the ability to make him open up to me. And there is really no point in wasting their money when they're already financially taxed.
And looking at this particularly family reminded me of the time when my mother was forced to engage an English tutor for me in K2. My tutor was also an undergrad at that point of time. Basically no one in the house speaks English too. SO i could barely string an English sentence together. And i had just transferred to a new Kindergarten after moving and it turns out that at the new place, my English was way below normal. (Don't ask me how 2 PAP Kindergartens can have such big differences.)
Anyway, the aweful relevation came when I got back my paper for the English test. My form teacher had given out most of the scripts as I sat there dreading THE moment. When i finally got it back, I was one of the last few in class and had failed miserably.
The teacher's one liner did the trick though. I don't rem her face, or name, whether its Mdm, Mrs or Miss, but i rem the sentence very well...
"You don't even know how to spell 'O-N-I-O-N' ?"
I clutched the test paper and kept quiet. The teacher moved on.
When the class ended, I started bawling my heart out the moment i stepped out of class.
My mother's friend, who had come to pick up her daughter, spotted me at the void deck and asked " Shui2 Qi1 Fu4 Ni3?" I managed to thrust her the offending exam paper and muttered something about failing it, in between sobbing, swallowing my own snoot and spreading the mixture of tears and mucus on my face by wiping with my hands. She proceeded to help me wipe off some of the gunk on my face, unfortunately it seemed that my tear ducts and nose had gone into "over-production" mode.
She then handed her packet of tissue to me, told me to stay put and left me alone for a bit to pick up her daughter before coming back. By then i had tissue bits stuck all over my face.
And she brought me home in the super unglam state to my rather alarmed mother.
This story eventually became her "must-repeat every year" story whenever we bai4 nian2 during CNY.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Tuition
I haven't been raking in much income ever since my crazy 'spurt' of 'working like mad' days to save up for a certain trip, depending on hand-outs from my mum and tapping into my savings which has been dwindling bit by bit over the past year. My last job was PA, which doesn't really count since well.. Pa is PA. No tuition, nothing. Nada.
Since the beginning of this semester, I've been actively calling up the agencies listed on the classifieds, hoping to stem the outflow of $ from my bank account.
As mentioned in previous entries, I had this freak case at CCK where I was "fired" before I started. (Disaster meter: 10)
And there was this case where one student suddenly turned out to be two, hence I "fired" myself before I started. (Disaster meter: 5)
And recently i've finally managed to land a couple of students. But the experiences were still rather fraught with disasters.
Student (a) - A sec one ger, so far seems quite obedient and pays attention, but not very quick to pick up concepts.
(Disaster meter 6): PAy is low as commented by Qiuling and the amazing thing was the agency got my name wrong, says that I just finished my A levels and I still can't determine whether its the parent or the agent who decided to 'under-report' my meagre earnings by another $10. Anyway first impressions were totally ruined. Instead of appearing professional on Day One. Both parties were freaked and making multiple calls to acertain the situation with the bloody middleman.
Student (b) - K1. Yes, tinny tiny.. He warrants a seperate post all to himself.
Since the beginning of this semester, I've been actively calling up the agencies listed on the classifieds, hoping to stem the outflow of $ from my bank account.
As mentioned in previous entries, I had this freak case at CCK where I was "fired" before I started. (Disaster meter: 10)
And there was this case where one student suddenly turned out to be two, hence I "fired" myself before I started. (Disaster meter: 5)
And recently i've finally managed to land a couple of students. But the experiences were still rather fraught with disasters.
Student (a) - A sec one ger, so far seems quite obedient and pays attention, but not very quick to pick up concepts.
(Disaster meter 6): PAy is low as commented by Qiuling and the amazing thing was the agency got my name wrong, says that I just finished my A levels and I still can't determine whether its the parent or the agent who decided to 'under-report' my meagre earnings by another $10. Anyway first impressions were totally ruined. Instead of appearing professional on Day One. Both parties were freaked and making multiple calls to acertain the situation with the bloody middleman.
Student (b) - K1. Yes, tinny tiny.. He warrants a seperate post all to himself.
A word of thanks
I would like to thank a few people.
You know who you are when you read this.
I haven't been able to articulate it very well.
But I am really touched.
Thanks for being by my side when i needed to rant,
for offering your help and company.
Thanks for staying with me.
You know who you are when you read this.
I haven't been able to articulate it very well.
But I am really touched.
Thanks for being by my side when i needed to rant,
for offering your help and company.
Thanks for staying with me.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Of hell
After reading Ms Chiongster and Spidey's comments regarding my last post. I have come to this conclusion. I'll probably see my sis in hell... If such a place exists.
About this obsession with the word .. hell, purgurtory, eternal damnation ... It comes in many forms. The terminology varies with different cultures and religions, but the end result is more or less the same.
To me, hell embodies fear, fear of misery, pain, anguish. We work so hard to avoid it, to secure ourselves a ticket out of it ... to heaven? To a better next life ? Or to disappear into oblivion? We pray, donate to NKF, contribute to the Tsunami aid, and sometimes simply decide not to step on an ant. Or curb the urge to prod that millipede you spot on the pavement.
Yet, sometimes living is hell. I choose to believe in living hell. To me, that is more scary than the unknown. Sickness, discrimmination, pain, poverty. That is less apparent in Singapore though, where the underclass leads a somewhat invisible life. You spot them when they venture out of their homes and once in a while, you see a man or woman foraging the rubbish bins at bus stops. Or the old uncle cleaning the tables at hawker centers, straining with the heavy buckets.
At other times, we struggle, trudging along to keep up and find that you're falling behind, and you keep trying and trying and you're exhausted. Its like the uncle who mops the floor at the bus interchange on a rainy day. He painstakingly cleans every tile, yet, the shuffling of footsteps continues and mud is smeared all over. Mopping makes no difference. And that's what happens. You can try but it makes no difference. Or your efforts may be wiped out by the folly of others or that of yourself and in the end you have nothing.
About this obsession with the word .. hell, purgurtory, eternal damnation ... It comes in many forms. The terminology varies with different cultures and religions, but the end result is more or less the same.
To me, hell embodies fear, fear of misery, pain, anguish. We work so hard to avoid it, to secure ourselves a ticket out of it ... to heaven? To a better next life ? Or to disappear into oblivion? We pray, donate to NKF, contribute to the Tsunami aid, and sometimes simply decide not to step on an ant. Or curb the urge to prod that millipede you spot on the pavement.
Yet, sometimes living is hell. I choose to believe in living hell. To me, that is more scary than the unknown. Sickness, discrimmination, pain, poverty. That is less apparent in Singapore though, where the underclass leads a somewhat invisible life. You spot them when they venture out of their homes and once in a while, you see a man or woman foraging the rubbish bins at bus stops. Or the old uncle cleaning the tables at hawker centers, straining with the heavy buckets.
At other times, we struggle, trudging along to keep up and find that you're falling behind, and you keep trying and trying and you're exhausted. Its like the uncle who mops the floor at the bus interchange on a rainy day. He painstakingly cleans every tile, yet, the shuffling of footsteps continues and mud is smeared all over. Mopping makes no difference. And that's what happens. You can try but it makes no difference. Or your efforts may be wiped out by the folly of others or that of yourself and in the end you have nothing.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Sisters
Channel U was showing the korean (or isit Japanese?) horror flick -- Sisters -- at 1130 pm last night. I was being a potato while my lil' sis was multitasking, watching TV and doing last minute work as usual. (Note: The one week holiday ends this Sunday, so her pile of uncompleted homework is due in 2 days time.)
Now for someone as fierce and rude and fiesty as her, she turns into a timid little mouse when dealing with the supernatural. Hence it's a good time for me to scare her a abit. Typically after watching anything remotely scary, she'll be afraid of the dark, take a shorter time to shower and need someone to be with her ALL THE TIME. Hence her evil sister had a field day freaking her out by threatening to leave her to watch (and do homework) by herself. Occasionally i would also mimick those freaky breathy sounds favored by ghosts of Korean/Jap origins just to see her squirm. (I know i'm going to hell for this..)
Don't ask me why she keeps watching horror movies if she can't take it though... And insist that i watch it with her when i usually make it even more scary.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
While watching the wacko sisters being tortured by their evil but chio stepmother, i took out my midnite junkie snack --> A pig- shaped- lotus- paste -filled -mooncake. As i proceeded to break its head off and munch on it, i saw my sis eyeing my beheaded piglet and dropping blatant hints to make me offer her a piece. I obliged and divided the head into 2 halves, stretching out my hand and grunting 'nah'.
As both of us munched happily on our portion of the pig's head, my sister suddenly asked ..
" Can i eat the eye?"
Me: "Of cos you can, dont be stupid. "
Sis popped it into her mouth.
A few moments later...
Sis: "Are you sure? It's a bit hard.. "
Me (an evil thought kind of just popped up in my head): HAHA.. Of course you CAN'T, so stupid... "
Sis: SPAT it out.
Me: "You actually believed that? Oh lord... "
Sis: Shit you! I'm going to fart.
(Sis's farts are really killer stuff.. Not to be trifled with and she loves to fart in my face.)
Me: "All right all right. Really.. its edible.I ate it already. "
Sis popped it back into her mouth.
Me(an even more evil thought kind of just popped up in my head): " HAHA, don't you know the myth of eating the mooncake piglet's eyes?"
(Honestly, I was just trying my luck with this one.. I swear..)
Sis (eyes open wide and stops munching): Huh???
Me: "You'll turn stupid, i can't believe you ate it.."
Sis: "I don't believe you.. "
Me: "Then eat it, no one's stopping you.. "
SIs: "I really don't believe you.. "
Me: "Then just eat it and stop asking.. the... "
Sis SPAT it out. AGAIN...
Me: *Laughs! You believed that?? oh my.. you're really stupid! Pwahaha!"
Sis: "You stupid dumb &&U*&^^%$! " and FARTS.
Now for someone as fierce and rude and fiesty as her, she turns into a timid little mouse when dealing with the supernatural. Hence it's a good time for me to scare her a abit. Typically after watching anything remotely scary, she'll be afraid of the dark, take a shorter time to shower and need someone to be with her ALL THE TIME. Hence her evil sister had a field day freaking her out by threatening to leave her to watch (and do homework) by herself. Occasionally i would also mimick those freaky breathy sounds favored by ghosts of Korean/Jap origins just to see her squirm. (I know i'm going to hell for this..)
Don't ask me why she keeps watching horror movies if she can't take it though... And insist that i watch it with her when i usually make it even more scary.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
While watching the wacko sisters being tortured by their evil but chio stepmother, i took out my midnite junkie snack --> A pig- shaped- lotus- paste -filled -mooncake. As i proceeded to break its head off and munch on it, i saw my sis eyeing my beheaded piglet and dropping blatant hints to make me offer her a piece. I obliged and divided the head into 2 halves, stretching out my hand and grunting 'nah'.
As both of us munched happily on our portion of the pig's head, my sister suddenly asked ..
" Can i eat the eye?"
Me: "Of cos you can, dont be stupid. "
Sis popped it into her mouth.
A few moments later...
Sis: "Are you sure? It's a bit hard.. "
Me (an evil thought kind of just popped up in my head): HAHA.. Of course you CAN'T, so stupid... "
Sis: SPAT it out.
Me: "You actually believed that? Oh lord... "
Sis: Shit you! I'm going to fart.
(Sis's farts are really killer stuff.. Not to be trifled with and she loves to fart in my face.)
Me: "All right all right. Really.. its edible.I ate it already. "
Sis popped it back into her mouth.
Me(an even more evil thought kind of just popped up in my head): " HAHA, don't you know the myth of eating the mooncake piglet's eyes?"
(Honestly, I was just trying my luck with this one.. I swear..)
Sis (eyes open wide and stops munching): Huh???
Me: "You'll turn stupid, i can't believe you ate it.."
Sis: "I don't believe you.. "
Me: "Then eat it, no one's stopping you.. "
SIs: "I really don't believe you.. "
Me: "Then just eat it and stop asking.. the... "
Sis SPAT it out. AGAIN...
Me: *Laughs! You believed that?? oh my.. you're really stupid! Pwahaha!"
Sis: "You stupid dumb &&U*&^^%$! " and FARTS.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Chicken or Egg?
After catching the 9pm TCS drama, roughly translated as ' Whose chicken doesn't lay eggs?", i'm amazed at how low TCS can go after the merger with Channel U. Don't ask me why i'm watching it.. I'm too bored, too free, too crappy or simply being a potato.
The scriptwriter ought to be fired. But then again he must be wishing he is dead too, given the requirements of the show's valued sponsors (MCDS - Ministry of community development and sports)
1. Must get married.
2. Must pop babies.
3. Try IVF if you can't make it.
4. Unwed and knocked-up? NO abortion.
5. And remember to breastfeed your kid.
6. Career-minded women beware, you'll lose your husbands if you are not family-oriented!
7. Give ex-convicts a 2nd chance.
8. Entrepreneurial spirit.
The poor scriptwriter must have been forced to work the following points into the plot, thereby resulting in the absence of one.
Snippets of the terrible show:
--> A one night stand with a Jap photographer resulted in a pretty young lass giving birth to a baby ger. The father of the child supposedly died when the overloaded boat he was in sank. However.. he survived as he.. drifted in the sea for days clingling onto a piece of wood and was saved by fishermen!(*gags* I'm getting morning sickness.) They met each other again as she was staging a 'Let me breastfeed my baby' campaign at Jurong Point!
--> Must set up a business. Sell cakes, sell eggs, whatever.
--> A pretty ex-wife who can't keep her clothes on comes back to find her ex-husband. The current wife (played by Chen Liping) felt sorry for her and took her in. Is the scriptwriter brainless? No woman will feel sorry for a nubile creature who has shagged your man before and is 1. Prettier 2. Perkier 3. Slimmer 4. Sexier. In this case, the contrast is stark.
--> A mother-in-law who is so crazy about having a grandchild that she threatens screams and hits her daughter-in-law for not getting pregnant?!!@$% And makes her eat all kinds of weird chinese tonics.
--> The mother-in-law plotted to get her son to sleep with the younger ex-wife so that she would give her the much coveted grandchild.
--> Guy eventually did not have sex with ex-wife but does not know coz he was too drunk to remember?!
Enuf said.. This show is seriously screwed and i'm even more screwed to be watching it at all.
The scriptwriter ought to be fired. But then again he must be wishing he is dead too, given the requirements of the show's valued sponsors (MCDS - Ministry of community development and sports)
1. Must get married.
2. Must pop babies.
3. Try IVF if you can't make it.
4. Unwed and knocked-up? NO abortion.
5. And remember to breastfeed your kid.
6. Career-minded women beware, you'll lose your husbands if you are not family-oriented!
7. Give ex-convicts a 2nd chance.
8. Entrepreneurial spirit.
The poor scriptwriter must have been forced to work the following points into the plot, thereby resulting in the absence of one.
Snippets of the terrible show:
--> A one night stand with a Jap photographer resulted in a pretty young lass giving birth to a baby ger. The father of the child supposedly died when the overloaded boat he was in sank. However.. he survived as he.. drifted in the sea for days clingling onto a piece of wood and was saved by fishermen!(*gags* I'm getting morning sickness.) They met each other again as she was staging a 'Let me breastfeed my baby' campaign at Jurong Point!
--> Must set up a business. Sell cakes, sell eggs, whatever.
--> A pretty ex-wife who can't keep her clothes on comes back to find her ex-husband. The current wife (played by Chen Liping) felt sorry for her and took her in. Is the scriptwriter brainless? No woman will feel sorry for a nubile creature who has shagged your man before and is 1. Prettier 2. Perkier 3. Slimmer 4. Sexier. In this case, the contrast is stark.
--> A mother-in-law who is so crazy about having a grandchild that she threatens screams and hits her daughter-in-law for not getting pregnant?!!@$% And makes her eat all kinds of weird chinese tonics.
--> The mother-in-law plotted to get her son to sleep with the younger ex-wife so that she would give her the much coveted grandchild.
--> Guy eventually did not have sex with ex-wife but does not know coz he was too drunk to remember?!
Enuf said.. This show is seriously screwed and i'm even more screwed to be watching it at all.
Case 1,2,3
I don't know much about the law. The only thing that comes to my mind is the case of an old bat finding a snail in her drink during Biz Law Lecture 1. With my limited knowledge, I have come to the conclusion that our judicial system is warped.
Now i'm not talking about expert knowledge and incomprehensible language that law makers use .. I'm just using common sense here. A number of recent cases that i've come across in the papers simply befuddle me.
Case 1: A mentally retarded young man had his sentence increased after an appeal.
Details: Boy had just been released from prison for molestation charges. Almost right away, he groped the breasts of some unlucky woman along the street. Hence he was shackled and cuffed once again and sent on a return trip to Changi. Boy's sentence was increased after an appeal.
Why it doesn't make sense: Note i use the word 'Boy', coz the young man's IQ is in the 50s range. A normal adult's IQ is around 90 to 110 while the average IQ of someone with Down Syndrome is 50. Obviously, this person's 'brain power' is way below normal and its apparent from the way he acted that packing him off to jail didn't work the 1st time, and chances of it working the 2nd time is close to NIL. He needs counselling and help, not the cane.
Which brings me to today's case.. A SERIAL molester who can obviously think and plot, had been sentenced to almost the same punishment as the retarded 'boy'! He wears a tee shirt around his head, grabs women from behind and MASTURBATES in front of his victims stark naked. And he did it 8 times over a period of 3 years. That's a very sick and very unrepentant pervert!
Case 2: Alaskan Malamute dies of heat stroke. Owner fined $3000.
Details: The dog died of heat stroke as a result of wilful neglect on its owner's part. He had been 'advised' by some animal protection group prior to his dog's death but did nothing to improve its living conditions.
Why it doesn't make sense: $3000 is nothing to someone who lives in Landed property and in the prime district of Bukit Timah at that. Probably even 30,000 would do little to discourage the owner from doing such a thing again. This kind of extreme cruelty ought to be punishable by a jail sentence. He put an arctic animal with 2 coats of fur under the tropical sun with NO WATER!Its akin to humans putting on two jackets and standing under the mid-day sun. Moreover, this dog was subject to such unbearable conditions over an extended period of time, not a day or two. It died a painful death with blood and foam oozing out of its mouth.
Case 3: Woman in coma after being hit by a reversing car is 50% at fault
Details: She was crossing the road when a car reversed and hit her. Judge ruled that she has to take half the blame coz she failed to keep a look out for traffic on the opposite side. Errant driver was fined $500 and given 6 demerit points.
Why it doesn't make sense: How often do you cross a road expecting vehicles to move AGAINST the traffic? The driver reversed a distance of not one or two, but 5 lots, in an area with many eateries and ought to have done it real slow and kept a look-out for other vehicles or pedestrians. Instead, he hit her with enough impact to knock her out permanently. If the same logic applies, then if killer-litter hits me, i have to share 50% of the blame coz i should have been more careful and checked 'upwards'? Now the woman's in a vegetative state, chalking up medical bills which her family has to pay and the driver got off with $500 fine? That's like being caught eating on an MRT..
I find the above judgements mind-boggling. Somehow, sentences metted out do not seem to reflect the seriousness of the crime in some cases, while for others, it seems overly harsh and senseless.
Now i'm not talking about expert knowledge and incomprehensible language that law makers use .. I'm just using common sense here. A number of recent cases that i've come across in the papers simply befuddle me.
Case 1: A mentally retarded young man had his sentence increased after an appeal.
Details: Boy had just been released from prison for molestation charges. Almost right away, he groped the breasts of some unlucky woman along the street. Hence he was shackled and cuffed once again and sent on a return trip to Changi. Boy's sentence was increased after an appeal.
Why it doesn't make sense: Note i use the word 'Boy', coz the young man's IQ is in the 50s range. A normal adult's IQ is around 90 to 110 while the average IQ of someone with Down Syndrome is 50. Obviously, this person's 'brain power' is way below normal and its apparent from the way he acted that packing him off to jail didn't work the 1st time, and chances of it working the 2nd time is close to NIL. He needs counselling and help, not the cane.
Which brings me to today's case.. A SERIAL molester who can obviously think and plot, had been sentenced to almost the same punishment as the retarded 'boy'! He wears a tee shirt around his head, grabs women from behind and MASTURBATES in front of his victims stark naked. And he did it 8 times over a period of 3 years. That's a very sick and very unrepentant pervert!
Case 2: Alaskan Malamute dies of heat stroke. Owner fined $3000.
Details: The dog died of heat stroke as a result of wilful neglect on its owner's part. He had been 'advised' by some animal protection group prior to his dog's death but did nothing to improve its living conditions.
Why it doesn't make sense: $3000 is nothing to someone who lives in Landed property and in the prime district of Bukit Timah at that. Probably even 30,000 would do little to discourage the owner from doing such a thing again. This kind of extreme cruelty ought to be punishable by a jail sentence. He put an arctic animal with 2 coats of fur under the tropical sun with NO WATER!Its akin to humans putting on two jackets and standing under the mid-day sun. Moreover, this dog was subject to such unbearable conditions over an extended period of time, not a day or two. It died a painful death with blood and foam oozing out of its mouth.
Case 3: Woman in coma after being hit by a reversing car is 50% at fault
Details: She was crossing the road when a car reversed and hit her. Judge ruled that she has to take half the blame coz she failed to keep a look out for traffic on the opposite side. Errant driver was fined $500 and given 6 demerit points.
Why it doesn't make sense: How often do you cross a road expecting vehicles to move AGAINST the traffic? The driver reversed a distance of not one or two, but 5 lots, in an area with many eateries and ought to have done it real slow and kept a look-out for other vehicles or pedestrians. Instead, he hit her with enough impact to knock her out permanently. If the same logic applies, then if killer-litter hits me, i have to share 50% of the blame coz i should have been more careful and checked 'upwards'? Now the woman's in a vegetative state, chalking up medical bills which her family has to pay and the driver got off with $500 fine? That's like being caught eating on an MRT..
I find the above judgements mind-boggling. Somehow, sentences metted out do not seem to reflect the seriousness of the crime in some cases, while for others, it seems overly harsh and senseless.
Of dark chocolate and smelly beancurd
A sour stench permeated the air when a group of 3 chinese foreign workers boarded the train. 2 made themselves comfortable on the floor near the door (non-opening side) while the third found a seat.
The smell is a mixture of a) sweat, b)grime and c)poor oral hygiene, (C) being the most toxic. His breath was so formidable that we squirmed in our seats each time he opened his mouth to shout across the breadth of the cabin to his friends.
(Well, i have no case against (a) and (b), since these folks are the ones building the HDB flats, paving the roads, and doing all the stuff that we jaded Singaporeans refuse to do. When the day comes that China, India, Bangladesh and whichever countries where foreign labour originate from have fully industrialised, we Singaporeans better pray we're as advanced as Japan and depend on AI to do all these jobs, or we'll be drowning in our own shit and rubbish. I've never believed that SG is really clean and green. We're 'clean' cos we employ legions of foreign workers to clean up the mess we leave everywhere, be it cutlery at hawker centers, old furniture we leave at corridors and void decks or the seemingly endless amount of litter we generate. Just look at Orchard Road at 2am or the Padang after National day celebrations and you'll see the 'real' city at its worst.)
I'm digressing ... Back to Mr Dragonbreath
Anyway, it was so bad that the guy sitting on his immediate left found it unbearable after 2 stations and decided to forgo his seat. (He retreated to a safe spot a few metres away and proceeded to lean on a pole.) The girl next to me (2 seats from his left) tilted her head towards me and was obviously trying to take small measured breaths. While Miss Hufferphish who was 3 seats away from the source wished she was down with a flu.
The 3 stops to Jurong East Interchange seemed like forever. I got off the train gratefully and hoped the poor girl next to me won't be deprived of too much oxygen.
To make things worse, they seemed to have this uncontrollable urge to scratch and dig at every orifice. In order of preference, as determined from the 'frequency' of contact are ... 1. Feet (Space between and around the toes.) 2. Still feet (Upper part of the foot) 3. Nostrils. (Where it seems to have an endless supply of precious metal to unearth.) When Dragonbreath's pals flashed him a toothy grin, the state of decay of their teeth attested to the lack of dental hygiene.
This observation made me wonder whether it is a general trait, or a pet peeve of chinese workers only.
From my observations, it seems that Banglaesh workers are relatively well-groomed, especially when they are heading towards Mustafa on their off-days. They are a happier bunch and seem to have a much better grasp of personal hygiene as compared to their chinese counterparts. In fact they look quite smart in their long sleeved shirts(usually with sleeves folded up) and pants. I may be biased here but i do feel that Bangladesh workers do look much cleaner, don't keep rubbing their feet, or have dragonbreath. In fact most of them have nice teeth and even when they get on the mrt after a day of hard labour under the scorching sun, in their work boots scuffed and covered with mud, do not smell any worse than sweaty school children on their way home after PE lessons!
This brings me to the conclusion that it is mostly chinese men who smell bad and love to scratch their groins. How do i find an explanation for this then? I'm afraid i'm clueless.
The smell is a mixture of a) sweat, b)grime and c)poor oral hygiene, (C) being the most toxic. His breath was so formidable that we squirmed in our seats each time he opened his mouth to shout across the breadth of the cabin to his friends.
(Well, i have no case against (a) and (b), since these folks are the ones building the HDB flats, paving the roads, and doing all the stuff that we jaded Singaporeans refuse to do. When the day comes that China, India, Bangladesh and whichever countries where foreign labour originate from have fully industrialised, we Singaporeans better pray we're as advanced as Japan and depend on AI to do all these jobs, or we'll be drowning in our own shit and rubbish. I've never believed that SG is really clean and green. We're 'clean' cos we employ legions of foreign workers to clean up the mess we leave everywhere, be it cutlery at hawker centers, old furniture we leave at corridors and void decks or the seemingly endless amount of litter we generate. Just look at Orchard Road at 2am or the Padang after National day celebrations and you'll see the 'real' city at its worst.)
I'm digressing ... Back to Mr Dragonbreath
Anyway, it was so bad that the guy sitting on his immediate left found it unbearable after 2 stations and decided to forgo his seat. (He retreated to a safe spot a few metres away and proceeded to lean on a pole.) The girl next to me (2 seats from his left) tilted her head towards me and was obviously trying to take small measured breaths. While Miss Hufferphish who was 3 seats away from the source wished she was down with a flu.
The 3 stops to Jurong East Interchange seemed like forever. I got off the train gratefully and hoped the poor girl next to me won't be deprived of too much oxygen.
To make things worse, they seemed to have this uncontrollable urge to scratch and dig at every orifice. In order of preference, as determined from the 'frequency' of contact are ... 1. Feet (Space between and around the toes.) 2. Still feet (Upper part of the foot) 3. Nostrils. (Where it seems to have an endless supply of precious metal to unearth.) When Dragonbreath's pals flashed him a toothy grin, the state of decay of their teeth attested to the lack of dental hygiene.
This observation made me wonder whether it is a general trait, or a pet peeve of chinese workers only.
From my observations, it seems that Banglaesh workers are relatively well-groomed, especially when they are heading towards Mustafa on their off-days. They are a happier bunch and seem to have a much better grasp of personal hygiene as compared to their chinese counterparts. In fact they look quite smart in their long sleeved shirts(usually with sleeves folded up) and pants. I may be biased here but i do feel that Bangladesh workers do look much cleaner, don't keep rubbing their feet, or have dragonbreath. In fact most of them have nice teeth and even when they get on the mrt after a day of hard labour under the scorching sun, in their work boots scuffed and covered with mud, do not smell any worse than sweaty school children on their way home after PE lessons!
This brings me to the conclusion that it is mostly chinese men who smell bad and love to scratch their groins. How do i find an explanation for this then? I'm afraid i'm clueless.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Confessions of a Spa Virgin
Having talked about weird theories, i shall talk about my experience as a Spa virgin. Its called the Hawaiian Ka Huna Bodywork and its promises range from the generic - "Physically re-energising" to healthy - " treats the lympathati, immune, circulatory, respiratory ... improved health and fitness" to Zen - " helps release fear, anger, grief .." to the bizarre - " releases hidden memories and allow change in your body, mind and soul (Huna)".
I chuckled as i read the bunch of marketing crap on its brochure AFTER the spa .. totally absurd. If it can do all those things in a 1.5hr service, all the shrinks in the world would be out of job by now.
So here's the real deal ... I entered the Earth Sanctuary Day Spa and was greeted by a VERY cheery receptionist who smiled ever SO sweetly, albeit oozing insincerity. Gonzales would be proud of her.
Then i removed my shoes and went upstairs where i was greeted by a middle age 'therapist' who definately scores tons higher on the sincerity scale.
I was given a little white disposable G-string and instructed to take everything off. I was actually expecting to be at least 25% covered. So i must have appeared kind of uncomfy and the therapist gave me a sarong to wrap around myself. I was also instructed to tie up my hair unless i want to look like Sadako on a bad hair day, since i was supposed to be slathered in sesame oil during the massage.
The sarong covered my vital bits for perhaps all of 5min. The moment she got started with me, it came off. And tada i was naked as a newborn and perhaps juz as slippery as well, since i was indeed well-oiled.
The therapist assured me that there's nothing to be self-conscious about and even 60 somethings with wrinkly skin and bellies come to her. (Actually i was more conscious about my A-cup status. But hey i started thinking that if she had seen and touched saggy 60 yr olds, she should be alright with mine.) After overcoming my inhibitions i started to enjoy the process of being kneaded and probed. She didn't miss out any part of my anatomy. I figured she covered 95%, the remaining 5% being whatever the by-then soggy G-string could cover.
Somehow i kept thinking of sesame cakes and sesame biscuits as the smell of sesame oil permeated the air.
I was rathered relaxed except for the part when she kept massaging my shoulder and back. That was uncomfortable, probably coz of my posture and all the tensed-up muscles. This petite woman can probably out wrestle a guy coz she's really strong!
After the massage, she proceeded to give me a scrub. I was totally exfoliated, from the neck down. During the scrub, i could only think of 2 things.
1. Glad that i had diligently tweezed those pesky underarm hair. The idea of her scrubbing my hairy armpits is gross.
2. Glad that i had waxed my legs a few days before. The idea of scrubbing my hairy legs is just as gross.
After the scrub, i took a shower, got dressed, drank this minty tea and went to look for a hairdryer and some moisturiser to slap on my face.
That sums up my very first Spa experience. Was i relaxed? A little.. Did i feel exfoliated? Yes.
BAsically i left feeling very clean. No zen experience, no Huna, Mana or Manawa crap.
Would i be back? Only if i am very rich.
I chuckled as i read the bunch of marketing crap on its brochure AFTER the spa .. totally absurd. If it can do all those things in a 1.5hr service, all the shrinks in the world would be out of job by now.
So here's the real deal ... I entered the Earth Sanctuary Day Spa and was greeted by a VERY cheery receptionist who smiled ever SO sweetly, albeit oozing insincerity. Gonzales would be proud of her.
Then i removed my shoes and went upstairs where i was greeted by a middle age 'therapist' who definately scores tons higher on the sincerity scale.
I was given a little white disposable G-string and instructed to take everything off. I was actually expecting to be at least 25% covered. So i must have appeared kind of uncomfy and the therapist gave me a sarong to wrap around myself. I was also instructed to tie up my hair unless i want to look like Sadako on a bad hair day, since i was supposed to be slathered in sesame oil during the massage.
The sarong covered my vital bits for perhaps all of 5min. The moment she got started with me, it came off. And tada i was naked as a newborn and perhaps juz as slippery as well, since i was indeed well-oiled.
The therapist assured me that there's nothing to be self-conscious about and even 60 somethings with wrinkly skin and bellies come to her. (Actually i was more conscious about my A-cup status. But hey i started thinking that if she had seen and touched saggy 60 yr olds, she should be alright with mine.) After overcoming my inhibitions i started to enjoy the process of being kneaded and probed. She didn't miss out any part of my anatomy. I figured she covered 95%, the remaining 5% being whatever the by-then soggy G-string could cover.
Somehow i kept thinking of sesame cakes and sesame biscuits as the smell of sesame oil permeated the air.
I was rathered relaxed except for the part when she kept massaging my shoulder and back. That was uncomfortable, probably coz of my posture and all the tensed-up muscles. This petite woman can probably out wrestle a guy coz she's really strong!
After the massage, she proceeded to give me a scrub. I was totally exfoliated, from the neck down. During the scrub, i could only think of 2 things.
1. Glad that i had diligently tweezed those pesky underarm hair. The idea of her scrubbing my hairy armpits is gross.
2. Glad that i had waxed my legs a few days before. The idea of scrubbing my hairy legs is just as gross.
After the scrub, i took a shower, got dressed, drank this minty tea and went to look for a hairdryer and some moisturiser to slap on my face.
That sums up my very first Spa experience. Was i relaxed? A little.. Did i feel exfoliated? Yes.
BAsically i left feeling very clean. No zen experience, no Huna, Mana or Manawa crap.
Would i be back? Only if i am very rich.
Theory 1,2,3
Haven't blogged for a bit.. No time, no mood, no inspiration.
Life has been depressing lately, been dunked in shit over and over.
Take for instance - tuition - that is one freak incident. I had prepped myself with my little sister's Pri 6 texts, travelled to CCk and was turned away at the door. They had already engaged a tutor and the agent hadn't informed me! Numerous calls to the agent ended up with me talking to an inanimate object - The answering machine. No surprises that nobody called me back. Managed to get the woman on the line eventually but of coz all i got were flat-out denials. Promised to clarify with me but no surprises again that she never did call back. There's really nothing i can do either. All i've got is a number and no name or face. I'll just put it down on pure bad luck.
Been meeting the shittiest people too. The ribbon on my flats was damaged by this woman who tried to cut across my path, and ended up almost tripping over my left foot and ripping my ribbon off in the process. There was no apology for kicking my foot and tearing my ribbon off. Instead she glared at me. If looks could kill! (I had to 'superglue' it back. Eventually, i invested in an identical pair as the former was deemed too stinky.)
Friday nite i bought a Meiji Milk chocolate bar to soothe my troubed soul, hoping the onslaught of 'happy hormones' from cocoa would rejuvunate me. Sadly, i had a bad tummyache after finishing the bar. A mere 70g of chocolate made my stomach upset. So much for therapy...
Alright, enuf of bad karmic stuff.. they do drive one nuts sometimes. I'll share the warped theories i've formulated recently.
Theory 1 : I have come up with a little theory about life and the strange way it works. For instance, 1plus 1 might equal zero. No matter what you do, people will always have a bone to pick. They might not like your inepititude or way of doing things. Sometimes they simply don't like the face, name, voice or maybe the way you smell. Simply put, the line "I just don't like you" applies here. And therefore they reserve all their shit for you.
And on the contrary sometimes 8 - 5 = 10. You put in little effort, but things do turn out fabulously, no worries. Mabe its a sunny disposition, good social skills, a pretty face, good karma, cash ... any combination that works..
Theory 2: A combination of "Law of diminishing returns" and " Base Theory " - Miss Hufferphish's own.
Basically "Law of diminishing returns" means that if you're usually nice, people won't appreciateness your "niceness" unless you do something even better. So for example, if you always help your roomie to buy breakfast, soon your roomie won't bother saying thanks. He/She will just wait for breakfast delivery every morning. For Roomie to feel the same level of gratitude now, you would need to outdo yourself, like perhaps offer to do the laundry too.
Which brings me to the "Base theory". It means that you always evaluate others based on how you think they would behave - That is the base.
For example, if you're doing a project with person A whom you deem would be a 'worker', you would expect A to do work. If he didn't, you'll be surprised, angry, pissed. You might even relax and let A pick up the bits and pieces.
However if you are so unlucky as to have a free-rider 'fall' in your group, you start from a negative base, thus as long as the free rider does his part and don't cause any trouble, you'll probably be quite relieved and grateful already.
Some may say this is a baseless argument (pun intended), however it is food for thought.
Theory 3: Since i'm working on screwed theories, I would like to share this theory that i've come up with a long time ago during my JC days, perhaps during one of those dreaded chemistry lessons, hence explaining the origin of its name. Its about pretty ppl becoming uglier and uglier ppl become prettier. I call it the theory of "natural equilibrium". Its nature's way of moderating things for people whose faces he/she/it has screwed. (I'm a free thinker.) Cos ppl can't remain ugly forever, or they'll be permamently screwed or not... And they'll never get married and pop babies(Unless the lights are off of cos).
Its based on the fact that when i beau the Chio Bus in sku, their 'impact' decreases with the increase in number of "beauings". Similarly, the very ugly guy with the bad acne and bad teeth(not inclusive of bad breath..that's alwaiz bad, no matter how many times you are unlucky enuf to take a whiff), (imagine the grossest face you can think of).. he loses 'impact' each time you look at him too.
So if this process goes on, eventually everyone will reach equilibrium. (OF cos the number of 'viewings' required varies with each individual.)Think of couples who have been tog for a long time and kinda cease to care how the other looks like? That's what happens..
Life has been depressing lately, been dunked in shit over and over.
Take for instance - tuition - that is one freak incident. I had prepped myself with my little sister's Pri 6 texts, travelled to CCk and was turned away at the door. They had already engaged a tutor and the agent hadn't informed me! Numerous calls to the agent ended up with me talking to an inanimate object - The answering machine. No surprises that nobody called me back. Managed to get the woman on the line eventually but of coz all i got were flat-out denials. Promised to clarify with me but no surprises again that she never did call back. There's really nothing i can do either. All i've got is a number and no name or face. I'll just put it down on pure bad luck.
Been meeting the shittiest people too. The ribbon on my flats was damaged by this woman who tried to cut across my path, and ended up almost tripping over my left foot and ripping my ribbon off in the process. There was no apology for kicking my foot and tearing my ribbon off. Instead she glared at me. If looks could kill! (I had to 'superglue' it back. Eventually, i invested in an identical pair as the former was deemed too stinky.)
Friday nite i bought a Meiji Milk chocolate bar to soothe my troubed soul, hoping the onslaught of 'happy hormones' from cocoa would rejuvunate me. Sadly, i had a bad tummyache after finishing the bar. A mere 70g of chocolate made my stomach upset. So much for therapy...
Alright, enuf of bad karmic stuff.. they do drive one nuts sometimes. I'll share the warped theories i've formulated recently.
Theory 1 : I have come up with a little theory about life and the strange way it works. For instance, 1plus 1 might equal zero. No matter what you do, people will always have a bone to pick. They might not like your inepititude or way of doing things. Sometimes they simply don't like the face, name, voice or maybe the way you smell. Simply put, the line "I just don't like you" applies here. And therefore they reserve all their shit for you.
And on the contrary sometimes 8 - 5 = 10. You put in little effort, but things do turn out fabulously, no worries. Mabe its a sunny disposition, good social skills, a pretty face, good karma, cash ... any combination that works..
Theory 2: A combination of "Law of diminishing returns" and " Base Theory " - Miss Hufferphish's own.
Basically "Law of diminishing returns" means that if you're usually nice, people won't appreciateness your "niceness" unless you do something even better. So for example, if you always help your roomie to buy breakfast, soon your roomie won't bother saying thanks. He/She will just wait for breakfast delivery every morning. For Roomie to feel the same level of gratitude now, you would need to outdo yourself, like perhaps offer to do the laundry too.
Which brings me to the "Base theory". It means that you always evaluate others based on how you think they would behave - That is the base.
For example, if you're doing a project with person A whom you deem would be a 'worker', you would expect A to do work. If he didn't, you'll be surprised, angry, pissed. You might even relax and let A pick up the bits and pieces.
However if you are so unlucky as to have a free-rider 'fall' in your group, you start from a negative base, thus as long as the free rider does his part and don't cause any trouble, you'll probably be quite relieved and grateful already.
Some may say this is a baseless argument (pun intended), however it is food for thought.
Theory 3: Since i'm working on screwed theories, I would like to share this theory that i've come up with a long time ago during my JC days, perhaps during one of those dreaded chemistry lessons, hence explaining the origin of its name. Its about pretty ppl becoming uglier and uglier ppl become prettier. I call it the theory of "natural equilibrium". Its nature's way of moderating things for people whose faces he/she/it has screwed. (I'm a free thinker.) Cos ppl can't remain ugly forever, or they'll be permamently screwed or not... And they'll never get married and pop babies(Unless the lights are off of cos).
Its based on the fact that when i beau the Chio Bus in sku, their 'impact' decreases with the increase in number of "beauings". Similarly, the very ugly guy with the bad acne and bad teeth(not inclusive of bad breath..that's alwaiz bad, no matter how many times you are unlucky enuf to take a whiff), (imagine the grossest face you can think of).. he loses 'impact' each time you look at him too.
So if this process goes on, eventually everyone will reach equilibrium. (OF cos the number of 'viewings' required varies with each individual.)Think of couples who have been tog for a long time and kinda cease to care how the other looks like? That's what happens..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)