Having talked about weird theories, i shall talk about my experience as a Spa virgin. Its called the Hawaiian Ka Huna Bodywork and its promises range from the generic - "Physically re-energising" to healthy - " treats the lympathati, immune, circulatory, respiratory ... improved health and fitness" to Zen - " helps release fear, anger, grief .." to the bizarre - " releases hidden memories and allow change in your body, mind and soul (Huna)".
I chuckled as i read the bunch of marketing crap on its brochure AFTER the spa .. totally absurd. If it can do all those things in a 1.5hr service, all the shrinks in the world would be out of job by now.
So here's the real deal ... I entered the Earth Sanctuary Day Spa and was greeted by a VERY cheery receptionist who smiled ever SO sweetly, albeit oozing insincerity. Gonzales would be proud of her.
Then i removed my shoes and went upstairs where i was greeted by a middle age 'therapist' who definately scores tons higher on the sincerity scale.
I was given a little white disposable G-string and instructed to take everything off. I was actually expecting to be at least 25% covered. So i must have appeared kind of uncomfy and the therapist gave me a sarong to wrap around myself. I was also instructed to tie up my hair unless i want to look like Sadako on a bad hair day, since i was supposed to be slathered in sesame oil during the massage.
The sarong covered my vital bits for perhaps all of 5min. The moment she got started with me, it came off. And tada i was naked as a newborn and perhaps juz as slippery as well, since i was indeed well-oiled.
The therapist assured me that there's nothing to be self-conscious about and even 60 somethings with wrinkly skin and bellies come to her. (Actually i was more conscious about my A-cup status. But hey i started thinking that if she had seen and touched saggy 60 yr olds, she should be alright with mine.) After overcoming my inhibitions i started to enjoy the process of being kneaded and probed. She didn't miss out any part of my anatomy. I figured she covered 95%, the remaining 5% being whatever the by-then soggy G-string could cover.
Somehow i kept thinking of sesame cakes and sesame biscuits as the smell of sesame oil permeated the air.
I was rathered relaxed except for the part when she kept massaging my shoulder and back. That was uncomfortable, probably coz of my posture and all the tensed-up muscles. This petite woman can probably out wrestle a guy coz she's really strong!
After the massage, she proceeded to give me a scrub. I was totally exfoliated, from the neck down. During the scrub, i could only think of 2 things.
1. Glad that i had diligently tweezed those pesky underarm hair. The idea of her scrubbing my hairy armpits is gross.
2. Glad that i had waxed my legs a few days before. The idea of scrubbing my hairy legs is just as gross.
After the scrub, i took a shower, got dressed, drank this minty tea and went to look for a hairdryer and some moisturiser to slap on my face.
That sums up my very first Spa experience. Was i relaxed? A little.. Did i feel exfoliated? Yes.
BAsically i left feeling very clean. No zen experience, no Huna, Mana or Manawa crap.
Would i be back? Only if i am very rich.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Theory 1,2,3
Haven't blogged for a bit.. No time, no mood, no inspiration.
Life has been depressing lately, been dunked in shit over and over.
Take for instance - tuition - that is one freak incident. I had prepped myself with my little sister's Pri 6 texts, travelled to CCk and was turned away at the door. They had already engaged a tutor and the agent hadn't informed me! Numerous calls to the agent ended up with me talking to an inanimate object - The answering machine. No surprises that nobody called me back. Managed to get the woman on the line eventually but of coz all i got were flat-out denials. Promised to clarify with me but no surprises again that she never did call back. There's really nothing i can do either. All i've got is a number and no name or face. I'll just put it down on pure bad luck.
Been meeting the shittiest people too. The ribbon on my flats was damaged by this woman who tried to cut across my path, and ended up almost tripping over my left foot and ripping my ribbon off in the process. There was no apology for kicking my foot and tearing my ribbon off. Instead she glared at me. If looks could kill! (I had to 'superglue' it back. Eventually, i invested in an identical pair as the former was deemed too stinky.)
Friday nite i bought a Meiji Milk chocolate bar to soothe my troubed soul, hoping the onslaught of 'happy hormones' from cocoa would rejuvunate me. Sadly, i had a bad tummyache after finishing the bar. A mere 70g of chocolate made my stomach upset. So much for therapy...
Alright, enuf of bad karmic stuff.. they do drive one nuts sometimes. I'll share the warped theories i've formulated recently.
Theory 1 : I have come up with a little theory about life and the strange way it works. For instance, 1plus 1 might equal zero. No matter what you do, people will always have a bone to pick. They might not like your inepititude or way of doing things. Sometimes they simply don't like the face, name, voice or maybe the way you smell. Simply put, the line "I just don't like you" applies here. And therefore they reserve all their shit for you.
And on the contrary sometimes 8 - 5 = 10. You put in little effort, but things do turn out fabulously, no worries. Mabe its a sunny disposition, good social skills, a pretty face, good karma, cash ... any combination that works..
Theory 2: A combination of "Law of diminishing returns" and " Base Theory " - Miss Hufferphish's own.
Basically "Law of diminishing returns" means that if you're usually nice, people won't appreciateness your "niceness" unless you do something even better. So for example, if you always help your roomie to buy breakfast, soon your roomie won't bother saying thanks. He/She will just wait for breakfast delivery every morning. For Roomie to feel the same level of gratitude now, you would need to outdo yourself, like perhaps offer to do the laundry too.
Which brings me to the "Base theory". It means that you always evaluate others based on how you think they would behave - That is the base.
For example, if you're doing a project with person A whom you deem would be a 'worker', you would expect A to do work. If he didn't, you'll be surprised, angry, pissed. You might even relax and let A pick up the bits and pieces.
However if you are so unlucky as to have a free-rider 'fall' in your group, you start from a negative base, thus as long as the free rider does his part and don't cause any trouble, you'll probably be quite relieved and grateful already.
Some may say this is a baseless argument (pun intended), however it is food for thought.
Theory 3: Since i'm working on screwed theories, I would like to share this theory that i've come up with a long time ago during my JC days, perhaps during one of those dreaded chemistry lessons, hence explaining the origin of its name. Its about pretty ppl becoming uglier and uglier ppl become prettier. I call it the theory of "natural equilibrium". Its nature's way of moderating things for people whose faces he/she/it has screwed. (I'm a free thinker.) Cos ppl can't remain ugly forever, or they'll be permamently screwed or not... And they'll never get married and pop babies(Unless the lights are off of cos).
Its based on the fact that when i beau the Chio Bus in sku, their 'impact' decreases with the increase in number of "beauings". Similarly, the very ugly guy with the bad acne and bad teeth(not inclusive of bad breath..that's alwaiz bad, no matter how many times you are unlucky enuf to take a whiff), (imagine the grossest face you can think of).. he loses 'impact' each time you look at him too.
So if this process goes on, eventually everyone will reach equilibrium. (OF cos the number of 'viewings' required varies with each individual.)Think of couples who have been tog for a long time and kinda cease to care how the other looks like? That's what happens..
Life has been depressing lately, been dunked in shit over and over.
Take for instance - tuition - that is one freak incident. I had prepped myself with my little sister's Pri 6 texts, travelled to CCk and was turned away at the door. They had already engaged a tutor and the agent hadn't informed me! Numerous calls to the agent ended up with me talking to an inanimate object - The answering machine. No surprises that nobody called me back. Managed to get the woman on the line eventually but of coz all i got were flat-out denials. Promised to clarify with me but no surprises again that she never did call back. There's really nothing i can do either. All i've got is a number and no name or face. I'll just put it down on pure bad luck.
Been meeting the shittiest people too. The ribbon on my flats was damaged by this woman who tried to cut across my path, and ended up almost tripping over my left foot and ripping my ribbon off in the process. There was no apology for kicking my foot and tearing my ribbon off. Instead she glared at me. If looks could kill! (I had to 'superglue' it back. Eventually, i invested in an identical pair as the former was deemed too stinky.)
Friday nite i bought a Meiji Milk chocolate bar to soothe my troubed soul, hoping the onslaught of 'happy hormones' from cocoa would rejuvunate me. Sadly, i had a bad tummyache after finishing the bar. A mere 70g of chocolate made my stomach upset. So much for therapy...
Alright, enuf of bad karmic stuff.. they do drive one nuts sometimes. I'll share the warped theories i've formulated recently.
Theory 1 : I have come up with a little theory about life and the strange way it works. For instance, 1plus 1 might equal zero. No matter what you do, people will always have a bone to pick. They might not like your inepititude or way of doing things. Sometimes they simply don't like the face, name, voice or maybe the way you smell. Simply put, the line "I just don't like you" applies here. And therefore they reserve all their shit for you.
And on the contrary sometimes 8 - 5 = 10. You put in little effort, but things do turn out fabulously, no worries. Mabe its a sunny disposition, good social skills, a pretty face, good karma, cash ... any combination that works..
Theory 2: A combination of "Law of diminishing returns" and " Base Theory " - Miss Hufferphish's own.
Basically "Law of diminishing returns" means that if you're usually nice, people won't appreciateness your "niceness" unless you do something even better. So for example, if you always help your roomie to buy breakfast, soon your roomie won't bother saying thanks. He/She will just wait for breakfast delivery every morning. For Roomie to feel the same level of gratitude now, you would need to outdo yourself, like perhaps offer to do the laundry too.
Which brings me to the "Base theory". It means that you always evaluate others based on how you think they would behave - That is the base.
For example, if you're doing a project with person A whom you deem would be a 'worker', you would expect A to do work. If he didn't, you'll be surprised, angry, pissed. You might even relax and let A pick up the bits and pieces.
However if you are so unlucky as to have a free-rider 'fall' in your group, you start from a negative base, thus as long as the free rider does his part and don't cause any trouble, you'll probably be quite relieved and grateful already.
Some may say this is a baseless argument (pun intended), however it is food for thought.
Theory 3: Since i'm working on screwed theories, I would like to share this theory that i've come up with a long time ago during my JC days, perhaps during one of those dreaded chemistry lessons, hence explaining the origin of its name. Its about pretty ppl becoming uglier and uglier ppl become prettier. I call it the theory of "natural equilibrium". Its nature's way of moderating things for people whose faces he/she/it has screwed. (I'm a free thinker.) Cos ppl can't remain ugly forever, or they'll be permamently screwed or not... And they'll never get married and pop babies(Unless the lights are off of cos).
Its based on the fact that when i beau the Chio Bus in sku, their 'impact' decreases with the increase in number of "beauings". Similarly, the very ugly guy with the bad acne and bad teeth(not inclusive of bad breath..that's alwaiz bad, no matter how many times you are unlucky enuf to take a whiff), (imagine the grossest face you can think of).. he loses 'impact' each time you look at him too.
So if this process goes on, eventually everyone will reach equilibrium. (OF cos the number of 'viewings' required varies with each individual.)Think of couples who have been tog for a long time and kinda cease to care how the other looks like? That's what happens..
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Of love
Today, a friend woke me up with a phonecall. She has fallen in love.
The magic of love -- who could ever describe it? Certainty of having found the one being destined for us by nature, light shed upon life itself and apparently explaining its mystery, unsuspected value conferred upon the most trifling circumstances, flying hours whose details elude the memory through their very sweetness ......
--Adolphe
The magic of love -- who could ever describe it? Certainty of having found the one being destined for us by nature, light shed upon life itself and apparently explaining its mystery, unsuspected value conferred upon the most trifling circumstances, flying hours whose details elude the memory through their very sweetness ......
--Adolphe
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Of library books and gold
It was a cool, rainy afternoon. Despite a slightly lopsided jaw, (no thanks to the swelling from the wisdom tooth extraction), I decided to return a 'soon to be due' library book and hopefully find something else to read from the humble Bukit Batok Community Library at West Mall. By the way, it got 1pathetic star in a certain Sunday Times report whiched awarded a maximum of 5 stars to libraries, depending on how they perform .. In terms of collection, service, events.. etc.
I chanced upon a Dean Kootz book titled Frankenstein in the "Just-returned" shelf. The book looks crisp and new.. (Yes i judge a book by its cover.) Published in Feb 2005. Very new indeed, judging by NLB standards. I thought, "Looks great, this will keep me company for tonight". I spotted an empty seat, plonked down on it and proceeeded to read the first couple of chapters.
The story was fine. Done in Dean Kootz's usual style of serial killers and mystery, with an angsty cop thrown in for good measure. I feel he's the "thriller equivilent" of Danielle Steel's trashy romance stories. Quite predictable, same style for many books, but still nice to read. As the title implies, there's some psycho out there who chops people up and collects body parts. there's this warped scene where he talks to magdalene, and gives her a manicure. Flirting with her.. only to wrap Magdalene's hands in plastic wrap to be stored in the freezer. He's actually talking to the HANDS only.
I was happily reading along when i discovered a little speck of brownish green stuff on a page..
Hmm.. don't tell me its ..
One more page.. Another speck of the same stuff, slightly different shape this time..
Ewwwww!!
Ignoring it and ploughing on, tinking "No i'm not giving up on the book.. No way!"
Again.. Some more..
The previous reader must be suffering from a bad bout of flu, has lots of nose hair.. or has a thing for 'gold-digging' while reading a thriller.
By then i had stopped reading.. instead i was flipping through the pages discovering more and more little globs of treasure.
I gave up. I put the book back on the librarian's trolley, zoomed out of the library and into the toilet to scrub my hands.
Ugly Singaporeans at its best.
I chanced upon a Dean Kootz book titled Frankenstein in the "Just-returned" shelf. The book looks crisp and new.. (Yes i judge a book by its cover.) Published in Feb 2005. Very new indeed, judging by NLB standards. I thought, "Looks great, this will keep me company for tonight". I spotted an empty seat, plonked down on it and proceeeded to read the first couple of chapters.
The story was fine. Done in Dean Kootz's usual style of serial killers and mystery, with an angsty cop thrown in for good measure. I feel he's the "thriller equivilent" of Danielle Steel's trashy romance stories. Quite predictable, same style for many books, but still nice to read. As the title implies, there's some psycho out there who chops people up and collects body parts. there's this warped scene where he talks to magdalene, and gives her a manicure. Flirting with her.. only to wrap Magdalene's hands in plastic wrap to be stored in the freezer. He's actually talking to the HANDS only.
I was happily reading along when i discovered a little speck of brownish green stuff on a page..
Hmm.. don't tell me its ..
One more page.. Another speck of the same stuff, slightly different shape this time..
Ewwwww!!
Ignoring it and ploughing on, tinking "No i'm not giving up on the book.. No way!"
Again.. Some more..
The previous reader must be suffering from a bad bout of flu, has lots of nose hair.. or has a thing for 'gold-digging' while reading a thriller.
By then i had stopped reading.. instead i was flipping through the pages discovering more and more little globs of treasure.
I gave up. I put the book back on the librarian's trolley, zoomed out of the library and into the toilet to scrub my hands.
Ugly Singaporeans at its best.
Day of Disaster
Just when i thought my gum was happily on its road to recovery, disaster struck.
I had woken up from an afternoon nap. (If you count 4hours a nap.) Drank ice-milo and had some porridge. Watched minority report. Couched in front of the TV for some time.
Logged on using the lappy and boy was i in for a shock.
The antivirus -- AVAST --(Recommended by Spidey), rang non-stop. The alert ws something along the line of sending or isit receiving? too many identical emails. When hell, i wasn't even logged into any email account! I noticed a new icon on that little bar at the bottem right hand corner. And the setting for google search had been changed to Chinese.
You see, my sis loves to log on to Chinese fan sites and ogle at Jolin, F4, FIR, you name it. And listen to songs and whatever clips they post on the sites. These sites are hotbeds for viruses. While i was blissfully asleep leaving the computer on and the modem off, she had taken the liberty to turn on the modem and surf to her heart's content.
I went out and asked her to come in, sit down and look at her handiwork in the "Don't mess with your big Sis" tone, berating her for whatever shit she has downloaded. And the only thing she could say was "i don't know".
I said " Fine, you give me shit like this and only know how to say i don't know, get out."
And man! She said the one other thing besides 'i don't know' --> *Drumrolls please*
--> " Then ni3 jiao4 wo3 jing4 lai2 zuo4 shen3 me4?" in a 'fuck you, you can't do anything to me tone. ' before turning around and focusing on the TV.
Not a single apology, no sign of remorse only 'i don't know' and 'ask me to come in for what'?
That was it. I lost it. With the antivirus still ringing away in the background, i started shouting at her for giving me shit and at her shitty attitude and the next thing i know...
Blood, lots of it. Warm, tangy and slightly salty. I had a whole mouthful of it. I had no idea whether i had overstretched my jaw causing the stitches to come undone or had the clot been dislodged. And i couldn't tell by looking at the mirror, coz each time i spat out the blood, there was more. The sink reminded me of primary school art class. After playing with watercolours, and you start rinsing the red poster colour from your palette.
My ma totally freaked out and kept insisting that i rinse with saltwater to stem the bleeding. (Some warped logic of hers.) If i can't spit them out fast enough, how on earth do i rinse?
I resorted to biting on the gauze the dentist gave me and swallowing the warm fluid. By the third piece of gauze i gave up, changed out of my white tank top (which had a few bloodstains on it, in case i freaked anybody at the clinic out) and decided to go to the 24 hrs clinic a few blocks away.
The doc told me he can't do anything since he's not a dentist. And to go to NUH for a dentist.
And off to to NUH i went. After being examined by a pretty nurse in a uniform with teddy bear prints, (Must be from the the children's ward) I was classified as 'won't drop dead anytime soon' i suppose. After approximately an hour of waiting in total, the dentist came to take a look at me. By then, the bleeding had ceased. And i was told that the stitches were in place, just that the clot had dislodged and a new one had more or less formed. (I think if you're sick and go to NUH A&E, you just need to sit there for a couple of hours to get well, some kind of hospital effect?)
And there you go. I spent $70 at NUH for a big yellow packet of sterile gauze. $7.50 for cab fare to NUH and $10 for the return trip. (Midnite surcharge.)
Only to be greeted by ma who first asked. "The bleeding stopped right?"
I said of coz, how much do you want me to bleed. Thanks to my little sis and her bloody attitude?
(I was still seething...)
And the reply. "Oh YOU scared her just now. It really isn't her fault YOU KNOW. She DIDN'T KNOW."
At that, i had nothing more to say.
And so in my parent's wonderful world, once again i am the villian. I scared her and i shouted at her and hence i deserve to drink my own blood. Its O plus by the way.
When has my sis ever been scared of me anyway? Thanks to my parents really. If my angelic little sis takes a knife and put it through my heart, it would be through no fault of hers. I MUST have provoked her and injured her delicate sensabilities, thereby causing her to behave in a manner atypical of angels and saints.
I had woken up from an afternoon nap. (If you count 4hours a nap.) Drank ice-milo and had some porridge. Watched minority report. Couched in front of the TV for some time.
Logged on using the lappy and boy was i in for a shock.
The antivirus -- AVAST --(Recommended by Spidey), rang non-stop. The alert ws something along the line of sending or isit receiving? too many identical emails. When hell, i wasn't even logged into any email account! I noticed a new icon on that little bar at the bottem right hand corner. And the setting for google search had been changed to Chinese.
You see, my sis loves to log on to Chinese fan sites and ogle at Jolin, F4, FIR, you name it. And listen to songs and whatever clips they post on the sites. These sites are hotbeds for viruses. While i was blissfully asleep leaving the computer on and the modem off, she had taken the liberty to turn on the modem and surf to her heart's content.
I went out and asked her to come in, sit down and look at her handiwork in the "Don't mess with your big Sis" tone, berating her for whatever shit she has downloaded. And the only thing she could say was "i don't know".
I said " Fine, you give me shit like this and only know how to say i don't know, get out."
And man! She said the one other thing besides 'i don't know' --> *Drumrolls please*
--> " Then ni3 jiao4 wo3 jing4 lai2 zuo4 shen3 me4?" in a 'fuck you, you can't do anything to me tone. ' before turning around and focusing on the TV.
Not a single apology, no sign of remorse only 'i don't know' and 'ask me to come in for what'?
That was it. I lost it. With the antivirus still ringing away in the background, i started shouting at her for giving me shit and at her shitty attitude and the next thing i know...
Blood, lots of it. Warm, tangy and slightly salty. I had a whole mouthful of it. I had no idea whether i had overstretched my jaw causing the stitches to come undone or had the clot been dislodged. And i couldn't tell by looking at the mirror, coz each time i spat out the blood, there was more. The sink reminded me of primary school art class. After playing with watercolours, and you start rinsing the red poster colour from your palette.
My ma totally freaked out and kept insisting that i rinse with saltwater to stem the bleeding. (Some warped logic of hers.) If i can't spit them out fast enough, how on earth do i rinse?
I resorted to biting on the gauze the dentist gave me and swallowing the warm fluid. By the third piece of gauze i gave up, changed out of my white tank top (which had a few bloodstains on it, in case i freaked anybody at the clinic out) and decided to go to the 24 hrs clinic a few blocks away.
The doc told me he can't do anything since he's not a dentist. And to go to NUH for a dentist.
And off to to NUH i went. After being examined by a pretty nurse in a uniform with teddy bear prints, (Must be from the the children's ward) I was classified as 'won't drop dead anytime soon' i suppose. After approximately an hour of waiting in total, the dentist came to take a look at me. By then, the bleeding had ceased. And i was told that the stitches were in place, just that the clot had dislodged and a new one had more or less formed. (I think if you're sick and go to NUH A&E, you just need to sit there for a couple of hours to get well, some kind of hospital effect?)
And there you go. I spent $70 at NUH for a big yellow packet of sterile gauze. $7.50 for cab fare to NUH and $10 for the return trip. (Midnite surcharge.)
Only to be greeted by ma who first asked. "The bleeding stopped right?"
I said of coz, how much do you want me to bleed. Thanks to my little sis and her bloody attitude?
(I was still seething...)
And the reply. "Oh YOU scared her just now. It really isn't her fault YOU KNOW. She DIDN'T KNOW."
At that, i had nothing more to say.
And so in my parent's wonderful world, once again i am the villian. I scared her and i shouted at her and hence i deserve to drink my own blood. Its O plus by the way.
When has my sis ever been scared of me anyway? Thanks to my parents really. If my angelic little sis takes a knife and put it through my heart, it would be through no fault of hers. I MUST have provoked her and injured her delicate sensabilities, thereby causing her to behave in a manner atypical of angels and saints.
Sunday, July 17, 2005
What a way to spend my sunday morning. My first sunday after PA, on wisdom tooth removal.
I arrived promptly at the dentist's at 1005am. 5mins late... but i waited for the guy before me to pay up so i assume i'm prompt..
Into the dentist's office...
1. Brief examination. Probed around a bit. Nothing much.
2. Signed on a form which basically states --> " The dentist is not to be blamed even if patient turns belly up."
3. Brace yourself for the anesthesia shot. (It feels like an extended version of the BCG skin test.) I asked " Its not painful right?" ( I know its as good as not asking, but i couldn't help it. Its akin to a child asking mummy if the injection's going to hurt, obviously mummy's gonna say no. You juz gotta wait for the kid to start wailing later.)
Anyway the dentist came up with a more qian4 bian3 answer.. "You won't feel pain, just pressure, during the procedure. Anyway pain is perceived by the mind, like Indians who walk over hot coals. But they don't find it painful." He went on about inspirational speakers for a bit and the power of the human mind.
Isn't that a fantabulous answer? I can imagine my dear dentist listening to tapes by inspirational gurus and spending sunday afternoons at the self-improvement section of Borders.
I said --> ' I don't like Adam Koo'.
(By the way, I'm not Hindu, neither do i intend to participate in the next Thaipusam.)
4. Wait for the left side of my jaw, (tongue included) to turn tingly, then numb and dry.
5. The Procedure.
I think i have a stubborn tooth. He must have taken like 30min or so to dig it out. There was drilling, i could feel the vibration and lots of pressure. He was playing tug of war with my tooth. All while instructing his not-very-competent assistant .. 'Susan, more sunction. Susan, you must suck till i can see the teeth clearly.' (That doesn't sound very right does it?) Susan this Susan that...
'Lots of sunction yep and blood of course. One of the fishes in Finding Nemo said the human mouth is a sewer. (I think its the grumpy one who was hell bent on returning to the ocean.) I totally agree. Its amazing isn't it? You eat with it, do raunchy french kisses with it. Speech is impossible without it ..The possibilities are endless. Yet it must be the grossest part of the human anatomy.
6. Finally it was done. I was supposed to rinse. *Yuck, double yuck.*
The dentist, failing terribly in social skills and tact mentioned casually that "Blood when mixed with saliva becomes viscous. You rinse now, after i stitch up the wound, you must swallow the blood, no more rinsing for the first hour at least. "
7. And yes! i was stitched up and ready to go. The good dentist asked if i wanted my tooth back. I said yes. (Hell, this cost me $350 bucks. More than half a month's pay. I'm going take a pic, post it here and gross everyone out!) ANd he popped it into a plastic baggy, with blood and all! I held it up, appraised it with a disgusted look and requested that he rinse it first.
8. I checked my face in the mirror by his sink and found bloodstains *gasp* at the corners of my mouth. I grabbed a tissue, wet it a bit and wiped. The dentist assistant was kind enough to offer me an alcohol swipe. Hell, he could have informed me or something. Obviously this guy doesn't believe in after-sales service.
9. The aftermath.
I'm on my fourth piece of guaze. Taken a painkiller, antibiotics and rinsed with antiseptic mouthwash. I look ridiculous with a piece of Kodomo Cooling Adhesive stuck on my jaw. (Been advised by Spidey to use an ice-pack to reduce swelling and bleeding. I improvised with a tui4 re4 tie1.) Other than a dull throbbing sensation in my jaw and some bleeding i'm good as new. I suppose i can eat something by evening. I feasted on half a pack of Hershey's Kisses last night to stock up on carbo. They were on promotion at NTUC, going at $3.55 a pack instead of 4 plus. Miss Hufferphish's crazed logic at work here. Else i'll just have to survive on bubble tea or ice milo for a day.
By the way i'm feeling quite happy that the offensive tooth has finally been removed for good. Despite his lack of tact, i find this dentist morbidly funny in his own way. The tooth is really quite huge. And it came out in one clean piece plus a tiny piece of root tip. Thankfully there are no complications. Worse i heard was no sensation and loss of sense of taste. Imagine a foodie who can't taste!! Horrors! Or having to cut the tooth up into fractions and taking it out piece by piece. Pity its impacted, if it had grown properly, it would probably be the last tooth standing when i'm old and wrinkley. Possible use? Hooking dentures.
I arrived promptly at the dentist's at 1005am. 5mins late... but i waited for the guy before me to pay up so i assume i'm prompt..
Into the dentist's office...
1. Brief examination. Probed around a bit. Nothing much.
2. Signed on a form which basically states --> " The dentist is not to be blamed even if patient turns belly up."
3. Brace yourself for the anesthesia shot. (It feels like an extended version of the BCG skin test.) I asked " Its not painful right?" ( I know its as good as not asking, but i couldn't help it. Its akin to a child asking mummy if the injection's going to hurt, obviously mummy's gonna say no. You juz gotta wait for the kid to start wailing later.)
Anyway the dentist came up with a more qian4 bian3 answer.. "You won't feel pain, just pressure, during the procedure. Anyway pain is perceived by the mind, like Indians who walk over hot coals. But they don't find it painful." He went on about inspirational speakers for a bit and the power of the human mind.
Isn't that a fantabulous answer? I can imagine my dear dentist listening to tapes by inspirational gurus and spending sunday afternoons at the self-improvement section of Borders.
I said --> ' I don't like Adam Koo'.
(By the way, I'm not Hindu, neither do i intend to participate in the next Thaipusam.)
4. Wait for the left side of my jaw, (tongue included) to turn tingly, then numb and dry.
5. The Procedure.
I think i have a stubborn tooth. He must have taken like 30min or so to dig it out. There was drilling, i could feel the vibration and lots of pressure. He was playing tug of war with my tooth. All while instructing his not-very-competent assistant .. 'Susan, more sunction. Susan, you must suck till i can see the teeth clearly.' (That doesn't sound very right does it?) Susan this Susan that...
'Lots of sunction yep and blood of course. One of the fishes in Finding Nemo said the human mouth is a sewer. (I think its the grumpy one who was hell bent on returning to the ocean.) I totally agree. Its amazing isn't it? You eat with it, do raunchy french kisses with it. Speech is impossible without it ..The possibilities are endless. Yet it must be the grossest part of the human anatomy.
6. Finally it was done. I was supposed to rinse. *Yuck, double yuck.*
The dentist, failing terribly in social skills and tact mentioned casually that "Blood when mixed with saliva becomes viscous. You rinse now, after i stitch up the wound, you must swallow the blood, no more rinsing for the first hour at least. "
7. And yes! i was stitched up and ready to go. The good dentist asked if i wanted my tooth back. I said yes. (Hell, this cost me $350 bucks. More than half a month's pay. I'm going take a pic, post it here and gross everyone out!) ANd he popped it into a plastic baggy, with blood and all! I held it up, appraised it with a disgusted look and requested that he rinse it first.
8. I checked my face in the mirror by his sink and found bloodstains *gasp* at the corners of my mouth. I grabbed a tissue, wet it a bit and wiped. The dentist assistant was kind enough to offer me an alcohol swipe. Hell, he could have informed me or something. Obviously this guy doesn't believe in after-sales service.
9. The aftermath.
I'm on my fourth piece of guaze. Taken a painkiller, antibiotics and rinsed with antiseptic mouthwash. I look ridiculous with a piece of Kodomo Cooling Adhesive stuck on my jaw. (Been advised by Spidey to use an ice-pack to reduce swelling and bleeding. I improvised with a tui4 re4 tie1.) Other than a dull throbbing sensation in my jaw and some bleeding i'm good as new. I suppose i can eat something by evening. I feasted on half a pack of Hershey's Kisses last night to stock up on carbo. They were on promotion at NTUC, going at $3.55 a pack instead of 4 plus. Miss Hufferphish's crazed logic at work here. Else i'll just have to survive on bubble tea or ice milo for a day.
By the way i'm feeling quite happy that the offensive tooth has finally been removed for good. Despite his lack of tact, i find this dentist morbidly funny in his own way. The tooth is really quite huge. And it came out in one clean piece plus a tiny piece of root tip. Thankfully there are no complications. Worse i heard was no sensation and loss of sense of taste. Imagine a foodie who can't taste!! Horrors! Or having to cut the tooth up into fractions and taking it out piece by piece. Pity its impacted, if it had grown properly, it would probably be the last tooth standing when i'm old and wrinkley. Possible use? Hooking dentures.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)