Miss World

Watched Miss World on Channel 5 a few hours ago.
Its held in CHina this year.
Other than the addition of chinese characters on the sash so that Miss Turkey is also Miss Tu2 Er3 Qi2 and Miss Belgium is Miss Bi3 Li4 Shi2, this year's contest is not much different from the previous 55 years.

Other than the rare spark of talent from a small number of contestants (like Miss American Virgin Islands, she's very very smart!) There are about 2 answers to most questions. The idea is to pick one of them and fit it into any answer.

1. Oh, all the girls here are so wonderful, beautiful, friendly... I have learnt so much from them.
(Read: Bitchfest! I hope all of them break out in pimples so I would be crowned Miss WOrld!!)

2. Oh, I wish to help all the poor children, orphans who do not have families, do charity work.
(Read: Heck it! The last kid i was forced to bounce on my lap in the orphanage peed on my beautiful dress! Darnit i hate those monkeys!) *Why does everyone want to help children?? Year in year out.. Nobody said cancer? Aids? Famine?*



For questions like ...
How is your experience here?
What do you like most from this experience?
What have you learned/gained?
Use ANswer 1.

For questions like ...
What is your ambition?
What do you want to do if you win the title?
WHat are your dreams?
What does Miss World stand for/mean to you/your country?
Use ANswer 2.

For good measure, end off your sentence with 'Oh, CHina is such a beautiful country, its people are so nice/friendly/beautiful' to score brownie points.. (No no.. its for international goodwill.)

If all else fails, just ah ehm a bit, say something incomprehensible and smile very brightly (Which was what Miss Korea did by the way) and the host would take the cue from the megawatt smile to say a very loud THANK YOU VERY MUCH, at which the audience would applaud automatically.

If it were up to Miss Hufferphish here, the competition would have only one segment.

BKK

The hotline had suffered a premature end. And it was amazing to see how folks reacted when you know your job's ending. People immediately slacked. And i mean really slacked! Right after the 'boss' made an announcement that we must all stop taking orders past a certain date of purchase. I no longer had to pick up phones fast and quick to hit the 30 orders a day 'suggested' quota, coz many others had suddenly become uninterested in picking up the phone... Having been retrenched from my temp job, I'm once again jobless and hence very free to blog a really long and detailed entry. Warning: Long and dreary...

Day 1: Friday. Checked in at around 1am.

Cheapskate me had picked a cabin room. SInce it promised 'all the facilities, just without a window.' The room was nice enough and very clean. And moi was grateful to be greeted by a soft comfy bed. Until .. It gave me the creeps... I can't quite explain it. It was perfectly fine till the time i tried to fall asleep. Despite being tired, I had problems sleeping. I woke up many times during the first night with the sensation of being watched and had a couple of scary dreams. I felt unwelcomed.

Requested for an 'upgrade' in the morning. Topped up difference of 1500 baht. Moved all the barang barang from room 448 to 723. This time i had a window. Though the first room was much bigger, the furnishings newer, nicer and cheaper, I was quite happy to be out of it.

Due to the delays caused by the changing of rooms, our trip officially started around half past noon. Bumped into an old friend in the lobby. Most unexpected. Walked to MBK. It was hot and sunny but quite fun. The 25baht roadside cocoa was yummy. Starbucks at less than a fraction of the price. They had a coffee machine, whipped cream.. the works...

Mostly just look see, explore the area and the buildings near MBK. Found the cheap nailart place Miss Fong was gushing about in her 'guide to BKK'. Ate junk food, bought DUnkin Donuts and watched a movie since there was nothing much to do at night.

Hightlight: Movie. Not the movie itself though.

1. The theatre is chio. Feels like cineleisure. Great sound. Lots of leg room!

2. Stunned! I almost dropped my popcorn when everybody suddenly stood up after some trailers. To 'pay respects to the king'. And so i stood, watching a slideshow of sorts of the king's life, rice padi, blah blah... accompanied by ang klongish music which i suppose is their national anthem. Honestly, i was bloody impressed by this show of respect thing.

DAy 2: Saturday
No problems sleeping in room 723.
Rise and shine.

Supposed to be out real early, but moi here kept dragging and took a bloody long time to get ready. After a hearty complimentary breakfast, we set off for the famous chatuchak market.

TIme of entrance: 1015am.
TIme of exit: 630pm.

It was hot and sweaty, the air wasn't fantastic at some parts. I felt icky and dirty. but heck it! The vast assortment of goods kept me quite entertained. An endless Bugis Village. Those puppies and rabbits at the pets section were so cute. I wish i could take one home.

I didn't buy that much stuff actually. SOme knick knacks, lots of cheap earrings at 20baht a piece. Since most stuff can't be tried on, it was quite a risk to buy them. Especially since Thai gers are generally of smaller build and moi here isn't exactly what you would call petite. I must thank Miss Fong again for reminding moi to wear less. Hence i went in a skirt and tank top. Else the heat would have been more unbearable.

Quite amazingly, i was not hungry at all for the whole 8 hours. And subsisted on bottles of green tea, a Singha beer and mineral water. No food, no sitting down and no toilet break (which im grateful for. Must have sweated all the fluids out).

Come nightfall, the shops were starting to close. We left chatuchak and took a cab to PAtpong. For the shows that moi had been looking forward to.

In the end, i think the only highlight was the taxi driver. WHo informed us he can " speak ying ge-lise a little." He rattled on for a bit incomprehensibly. Poor me was quite worried when he turned around to yak while driving on the highway. The only 2 lines we understood were " Lady CHIO!", "Make Love CHio!"
He obviously makes regualr contributions to the economy of Patpong ...

Patpong itself was a let-down. I find the acts neither amazing nor gross. (mabe after hearing so much about it, it loses impact.) In other words, i was a nonchalent audience. Some of the gers were really pretty, some were so-so. A couple of fat ones were probably there for some weird fetishes. One rather fat ger was making a half-hearted attempt at dancing. She had a tummy and her boobs though big, were nothing to shout about. Her feet shuffling was extremely irritating. My friend thought her dancing was akin to a half asleep passsenger on the MRT holding onto the pole.

The constant pestering by the gers working the floor for tips were very irritating too. You pay and then pay some more. What a waste of money.

The acts were standard. The very long coloured string pulled out from the vagina. Opening of the bottle, shooting at balloons and this balancing act where a ger flips over and try to loop a plastic ring over a little pole...

And don't touch anything at the street market there. The vendors can be aggresive! Moi being so auntie decided to find out how much i had saved when i spotted a stall selling lamps identical to the one i had bought at Chatuchak earlier.

"How much?" (pointing at the lamp)

She punched 650 on the calculator! (I paid 199baht for mine)

I tried to walk away but she kept saying no! no! and insisted that i name a price. When i refused, she simply kept punching lower prices on her calculator.
Her final offer was 180 baht. Although her final price was slightly lower than the Chatuchak price. I was much happier buying from the friendly vendors of Chatuchak. 19 baht for emotional trauma was not worth it. The nasty look she gave me when i walked away was worth more than that.

Later, took the Skytrain to Siam station and look see for a bit. All the shops were closing. Rich man district. VNC shoes sell at around 40 sing there! And guess what? ANother movie.. Hahaha..

Day 3: Sunday.
Was simply exhausted the previous day so slept in and missed the complimentary breakfast.

Went back to Chatuchak around noon.. Determined to clear all sections cept for those farang infested wood products, cushion covers ... and livestock sections which don't smell very fantastic.

ANd Chatuchak gave me a horrible pimple outbreak. I think its the toxic combination of the heat, sweat, dirt and sun. I'm also a tad darker after all the sun i got, despite most areas being sheltered. Lots of small zits on my forehead and nose. The 'cluster' kind.. I can't remember ever having so many zits at one go. Argh!!

AGain, we left Chatuchak at closing time. Headed to MBK for my first restaurent meal there. Steamboat Very impressed with the service crew. They were efficient, polite and can do everything. The same ger who pushes a trolley around clearing the plates zips to your table to take orders with a PDA the moment i flipped open the menu to order dessert. SHe then lifted the pot off the hot plate with her bare hands! Just like those folks at Marina Bay Steamboat stalls!

After dinner.. Shops mostly closed.. What else but to re-visit the cineplex? I suppose there were many others who had nothing much to do on a SUnday night. Cos there was quite a crowd at the cinema. We picked this Thai horror show called Long Kong. Damn scary stuff. Simply gross. Its about voodoo and spells. This deranged woman wanted revenge against this whole bunch of teenagers. She killed one of them first and fed her face to her friends in fish curry. *Puke* Cos for her black magic to work, her enemies must eat their own friend's flesh. A guy died horribly with lizards, snakes and baby crocodiles bursting out of his torso. One ger dug her eyes out and the worst.. she saved it for the guy who masterminded her disgrace and was the cause of her misery. SHe pulled out his teeth, tied him up, poured boiling water down his throat. And burned his feet, hands and finally his face. Oh my god.. *getting chills*

I watched like 50% of the show, the rest of it I was cringing and looking away. Especially the burning part, where i only caught glimpses. I really pei fu the thais.. I looked around and everyone had their eyes on the screen. ANd moi who claimed to be a horror movie enthusiast cannot take it!!

That night was the most scary night. Not cos of the movie but cos my pal was not feeling well. And we found ourselves at a certain Mission Hospital at 4am. After paying a stupid cab driver(one of those who 'camps' outside the hotel) a bloody 100 baht for like a less than 5min journey. And I filled in an alarmingly long list of drug allergies while the doc attended to the patient. Thankfully its a rather touristy hospital and they can all speak English.

DAy 4: Monday
After the late night 'adventure', the next day was even more fraught with adventures. Apparently, we had thought that we were going home on Tuesday when it was Monday. Packed and washed up in a record 25min after receiving a call from the agent who was picking us up for transfer to the airport. Made it to the airport on time though we had to pay 500baht for the hotel cab service.

The freaky stuff doesn't end there. After somehow mistaking 05 12 for 06 12. I once again misread the gate number for boarding. Instead of 32, I was happily waiting at gate 36 and assume the plane had been delayed. Until they made an announcement for 'MIA' passengers.

Oh man... And that also mean that i didn't manage to go to the temples or back to MBK for 199bahtheels and nailart. Or banana chips and some other souvenirs. So please don't be angry with me if i din get you stuff.

Back in Sg, we went to see another doc and mistook number 29 for 26.

Freaks ... 6 is the number of the devil. And we have successfully misread another digit as 6 thrice. Seriously gives me goosebumps. I still don't understand how i can read the same ticket repeatedly and yet see the digit 5 as 6...

Just hope everything turns out for the better.

*SHudders*