My Day As a Receptionist

Tue 10:00am
Read SMS from Dawn: 33, u want a temp job TODAY until 5.30pm? it pays $6.50/hr. Essentially, u're a receptionist4the day. Zoboh one..can read mags&file nails.It's near jurong.. U want?

Telephone conversation:
"But i don't have experience can??"
"No prob, they will teach" said the job agency lady.
"okies I'll do it"

As I was already awake and in the midst of getting ready for my LAST tuition session with a certain customer who is only available on Tue 11am, i decided that the LAST session can wait one more week.( after all i've waited so many weeks already.)

Hence I found myself at 11 International Business Park at 10:47am. (Which is near CREATIVE.) Its really near, cab fare only $4.20 (can claim)

Well, I wore a rather ehm.. bright orange jacket (compulsory attire for all the office ladies.. haha)
tink their company got some sort of colour coding. Production line wear dark blue. I spied some greenish shirts too i tink. *Haha*

ANd contrary to the sms, there was no time to file nails. (not that i packed along a nail buffer of cos)

I had 5 duties for the day.
An attachment student from poly who took over as recep in the morning stayed with moi and taught me the stuff till lunch time. We sorta 'discovered' little things about the phone routing system as we went along. *Laughs*

1a. Answer calls. Transfer calls to the relevant extension. (This got tricky when the caller had only a name but no extension or department. I referred to a list but not all the names are there, and some names are written in initials.)

1b. Make international calls on behalf of staff, then route it back to the staff who requested the call once its connected and the relevant party found. (Quite interesting this one. Esp calls to Thailand. The voice recording system is rather 'melodious'. Taiwan also polite. China got communication problem. Different brand of Chinese and sometimes only can find the person if u say the chinese name. As in Leong San San cannot find. Liang Shan Shan then can. Same problem when they call in looking for someone.)

2a. Pick up calls and answer queries on "How to Get here"/"DO you hire malaysians"/ "My English not good can employ?"/"Pay How Much"? from job seekers. Cos they advertised for Lab Assistant and Storeman the day b4 on classifieds.
The answer to all of the above, as instructed was --> GIve address, landmark, advise them to take cab $3.00 from JE only, and the rest must come for walk-in interview.

2b. Upon arrival, give job seekers a form to fill in then call HR after gathering every 4-5 people.

3. Visitor come, ask them to fill in logbook, exchange ID for visitor pass.
Vendor come, ask them to fill in logbook, exchange ID for vendor pass.

4. People come and leave things at the counter, put them aside, note down who left what if required.

5. Paging. I kinda like this one once I got over the initial hesitation.. Haha.. Mabe I do like hearing my own voice.
In a building, folks can't find one another. Like hide and seek.
So they call the recep and say "Help me page for XX"
The script is " Paging for (XX)x2, please call extension 110 ( yao yao ling) (must repeat in chinese) Xie Xie (Thank you)"
Variations are --> Please proceed to the lobby, proceed to canteen.. blah blah..

One notable one came from the production line side.. They call to ask which AH BAO is being paged. Cos apparently there's quite a few Ah Baos.. Turns out its Si Wen Bao they want. (Translate to polite Bao)

Yip, that sums it up.
And I wouldn't have survived the day without help from the SECURITY GUARD. Yes. SECURITY GUARD. He is what the PAP advocates. Huo2 Dao4 Lao3 Xue2 Dao4 Lao3. Multi-tasking type. He was so nice and helpful. (Not the sit there drink milo read newspaper, tian1 ta1 xia4 lai2 not his business kind.)

As a recep must essentially be an octopus and I'm a fledging one, when my arms get tangled, he'll pop into the counter to help me. He'll distribute the visitor passes when calls and people come in at the same time, distribute application forms to job seekers... etc.. and he even got moi a cup of coke from the vending machine cos he say talk so much must drink cold drink.

WAhhh.. If he's 30 years younger I would fall in love with him!!

Took a pic with him on hp, but hp KNN one, can't upload, if i manage to get it uploaded
will post it here. Overall an interesting day with nice people and quite fun too!

3364

That's the number i betted on yesterday, my first bet of the year. The third ticket in all of my 22 years.

WHy?
I literally Kan na sai yesterday during break time
when a rectum-less bird conveniently dropped a bomb on moi in the canteen.
We had adjorned to canteen B halfway through GMS Seminar and moi had just gotten a small plate of bee hoon to 'complement' my fried carrot cakes when ...

Splat..
SOme murky greenish brown goo landed on my wrist.

Tramutised, I screamed "Ahh.. Someone save me!"
(or sth along that line.. ALthough ELv had since informed me my scream wasn't powerful enuf to justify that of bird poo.. cos she thot a fly had landed on me instead.)

Incidentally, no one at the table had tissue paper. And the first toilet I went to didn't have any more soap in the dispenser. I washed my hands, up till my elbow, THRICE in another toilet which had soap.

Meanwhile, Dawn had come up with the magic numbers.
33 for moi, 6 cos we were sitting in front of stall number 6. 4 for sai (shit)
And i announced it was time to join the aunties and cheko peks at Singapore Pools.

Later I really did place a bet at Jurong Point. $2 big $2 small.

Today, the results of the lottery is



Scary aint it?

My Day/Nite as a Flower Ger

Now for the last installment of the 'flower series', I shall relate my experience as a florist.
After this particular experience, I have come to a few conclusions about life in general.
1. Expect the unexpected.
2. Expect the worst.
3. Anything is possible.

I kinda amazed myself really and am actually quite proud of my persevering spirit. ha!
I spent a nite without sleep so as to save my ass not disappoint the guys who need to present bouquets to their Dears on Valentine's.

Armed with 2 Mushroom mayos + 1 Chicken pie from Han's and a Red Pearl Milk Tea from Sweettalk, I got down to work.

First, remove the pesky thorns from the stems. You never know how prickly they can be until you have to slice them off. *Ouch* I think it's akin to removing scales from fish. If you've only ever eaten fish, you'll never realise the effort that goes behind scraping those scales off. (An observation: Red roses tend to have much lesser thorns than pink ones for some strange reason ...)

Next, arrange the stems into bouquets, along with Lavender and Baby's Breath, then wrap them up with layers of 'tissue'.

Sounds easy doesn't it? You bet.

By 3 am I was tired and frustrated.

By 6, I was a goner. My left hand ached from clasping the stems tightly while arranging them, and my right thumb and forefinger hurt from trimming too many stubborn stems with scissors. And for some strange reason, my hands itched. (tink its due to prolonged contact with the stems.. Most prob cos they're laced with pesticides.)

I believe I elevated myself from the ranks of ehm..."No rank" to "Amateur" to "Semi Pro" over the course of a single night, completing almost 10 bouquets. Any florists out there need temps?

Yup, and here are some of the results!
















Notice the disparity in sizes in the bouquet below? Major headache...
Supposed to be pink and white but the white turned out to be pale yellow. *Panics*
Though the supplier insisted its 'ivory white'! My foot!
(Moi is aware that it does look kinda whitish on the pic, but I assure you that's the effect of a flash. Compare it to the color of the baby's breath around it and the difference is apparent)
Thank goodness the customers were not too fussy. *Phew*


A bouquet of 39, from a loving boyfriend.
Moi has since 'affectionately' named it the 'Monster Cannonball'.
Thot bubble when tying this one... 'Gf's arm would ache after one nite of lugging this around. And if she uses both hands to carry this, then no hand left to hold Bf's hand' *Laughs*

Another view:

And all these affort for a profit of about 100 bucks each for biz partner and moi, minus transport, minus cost.. etc.. lesser if i factor in the mushroom mayos.. hah!
I figure my hourly pay is less than 4 bucks. but it was quite a learning experience indeed.

Marcom disaster!

Today, I finally tended to the 'flower' booth after abandoning my poor partner to wilt by herself for 2 consecutive days. (Sorry ger...)

After a couple of hiccups in setting up, I started to stake my territory on the shared 'booth' ... Armed with some 'props' which i had unearthed ...

1. Small Forever Frenz Bear holding a heart

2. "Matching" Forever Frenz Card holding 'blossoms'

3. Cheesy n Shiny Heart shaped box-cover for the bear to 'sit' on

4. A shiny purplish sash i never wore. (As table-cloth)

5. Very fake heart-shaped pendent n chain

6. Faux Jewellery boxes with no brand names on them (so we won't be advertising for Perlini's)

7. Beads to sprinkle over the table cloth

And some props my partner had unearthed... Bear (sitting atop a small heart cushion), Heart-shaped handicrafts, some more faux boxes with no brand ...
(The above being a non-exhaustive list.)

I began an attempt to be artistic in ehm.. let's juz say 'table decor'.
Objective: To create a 'Valentiny' mood.

Apparently moi's attempt worked so well that No one could tell I was selling flowers!
ANd girls were stopping by to

... touch the pendents
... touch the bears
and *shrivels* touch the beads

What is it with females who just have to finger everything that appears in their line of sight??

WRONG target audience
WRONG message
WRONG Marcom

If Lam Shun Yin sees, he'll prolly Parkinson...

In the end moi cannot take it, asked my 'neighbour' to look after my side too and went to Popular to get a black board as backing..
Then i begged my neighbour and a passing siwei to write in BIG FAT FONT on yellow paper

"FLOWERS FOR SALE!"

"A DOZEN AT $35"

and stuck em onto the board along with the flower pics on a borrowed easel.

Pics later...

In the Mood for Love

I met my friend at Jurong Point for lunch a few hours ago.After the influx of Chinese New Year goodies, there is something else to celebrate. Its an unofficial holiday. But in no way less influential.

A quick stroll around the mall and Valentine's Day will be screeching in your face creeping up on you. There is no way you can miss the profusion of pink, heart-shaped trinklets and amorous words being marketed everywhere. There is a spike in the amount of useless impossibly cute soft toys like baby seals (in a pair), baby hedgehogs holding red hearts (in a pair), and cuddly turtles (two to go of cos).
Jewellery stores print glossy pamphlets with cliche themes like "LOVE STORY" (Goldheart) and "ROMANTIC EXPRESSIONS" (LEE HWA)and chuck them into the hands of browsers like moi and gal pal as we stopped by the window display, eager to cash in on the season of love.

Moi and gal pal made an observation with the 2 booklets which had found their way into our hands, in between gulps of Iced Milk Tea at Mos Burger. Both booklets had many pages filled with female jewellery, were doused with an unhealthy supply of hearts and hair-raising lines like 'Pink Passion', 'Love is everywhere' and TAKE THIS --> 'Love is the air i breathe' *oh my gawd! Gasps for air*
And both had 1 page featuring jewellery for MEN (one page with an ugly steel bracelet and ugly steel ring),no more no less. Queer isn't it?

Moi came to the following conclusion:

"Dear I love you and despite knowing that I've fallen pray to a giant marketing ploy, I'm willing to fork out $688(hypothetical sum--> add all the zeros you want) to buy you this bracelet/ring/pendant..."

"Oh Dear, I love you too, and to show my commitment and love for you, I shall give you a cheap and ugly ring too (@ $68)

Simple mathematics will tell you that the guy got a very bad deal. But hey, love can't be measured by $$ right?

Let me hypothesize where the remaining sum went.
33's equation:
$688 ring = $68 ring + **GROOMING
**GROOMING (cos guys like their gers to be pretty and pretty costs $$)

**GROOMING = FACIAL(so that you won't see clogged pores on my face)
+ REBONDING/PERM(so that i have nice tresses for YOU EVERYDAY) +
[THE NEW DRESS + THE NEW HEELS + THE NEW LINGERIE +
NEW LIPSTICK + XXX] (I dress up for YOU on this SPECIAL DAY)

Add it all up and both sides of the equation will balance.

Now on to another point ...

Anyone who has brains the size of a pea pod will know that Valentine's DAY is the Grand Dame of Marketing Ploys. We also know the 'St. Valentine sacrificed his life' shit is crap. Maybe once upon a time, it was really that, but with evil marketers around *laughs*, it has become a day to cash in on stingy hapless Singapore men, an annual opportunity for florists to cover their asses for the whole year.

Sometimes Valentine's day is thinly veiled by a more politically correct 'Friendship Day'and CCAS/hall commitees/Non-profit organizations/Anyone who needs $/ usually use this term when canvassing for funds. But being politically correct also means casting the net wider isn't it? After all not everyone has a date, but everyone has friends!

SO why are we still dumb enough to be forcing stingy men letting bfs/husbands pay through their noses for roses that wilt in a few days or pairs of baby hedgehogs that end up collecting dust?

33's hypothesis:
Cos women like to compete and few can bear the loss of 'face'.

When we were kids, we compared our precious collections of Strawberry Shortcakes/Barbies/Polly Pockets/Cupcakes (Not as phenomenal as the rest, but I absolutely LOVED the way the skirt flips over *i know it sounds sick* and turns the doll into a ..ehm yes.. a Cupcake. But my ma refused to buy me any so I would go to my friend's house to play.)*Lol*

Then came PSLE, Os and As.

Then we compare boyfriends.

Then husbands.

Then we become our mums and compare our kids' PSLE.

Its a cycle that goes round and round.

.. Therefore on the special day of pink passionate hearts... We compete to see how dearly our Dears love us. This has developed into such a scary phenomenom i remember from last year's Straits Times that women have even gone to the extent of delivering flowers to themselves at the office so as to save face.

The qualifying round is a date of cos.
The semi finals will be the size of your bouquet.
Those who make it into the finals will compare diamonds.

Whether its a rock or 'diamond dust' or ehm Perlini's (Only boys who cannot watch M-18 shows have student concession) will determine where you rank this year. Anything with Tiffany on it will automatically elevate you to the rank of 'show-it-off with a flutter of your fingers' while Perlini's is the ultimate nightmare rivalled only by a hedgehog.

Well at the end of the day, those who have the last laugh are evil marketers of cos. *Evil laughs*