What a way to spend my sunday morning. My first sunday after PA, on wisdom tooth removal.

I arrived promptly at the dentist's at 1005am. 5mins late... but i waited for the guy before me to pay up so i assume i'm prompt..

Into the dentist's office...

1. Brief examination. Probed around a bit. Nothing much.

2. Signed on a form which basically states --> " The dentist is not to be blamed even if patient turns belly up."

3. Brace yourself for the anesthesia shot. (It feels like an extended version of the BCG skin test.) I asked " Its not painful right?" ( I know its as good as not asking, but i couldn't help it. Its akin to a child asking mummy if the injection's going to hurt, obviously mummy's gonna say no. You juz gotta wait for the kid to start wailing later.)

Anyway the dentist came up with a more qian4 bian3 answer.. "You won't feel pain, just pressure, during the procedure. Anyway pain is perceived by the mind, like Indians who walk over hot coals. But they don't find it painful." He went on about inspirational speakers for a bit and the power of the human mind.

Isn't that a fantabulous answer? I can imagine my dear dentist listening to tapes by inspirational gurus and spending sunday afternoons at the self-improvement section of Borders.

I said --> ' I don't like Adam Koo'.
(By the way, I'm not Hindu, neither do i intend to participate in the next Thaipusam.)

4. Wait for the left side of my jaw, (tongue included) to turn tingly, then numb and dry.

5. The Procedure.
I think i have a stubborn tooth. He must have taken like 30min or so to dig it out. There was drilling, i could feel the vibration and lots of pressure. He was playing tug of war with my tooth. All while instructing his not-very-competent assistant .. 'Susan, more sunction. Susan, you must suck till i can see the teeth clearly.' (That doesn't sound very right does it?) Susan this Susan that...

'Lots of sunction yep and blood of course. One of the fishes in Finding Nemo said the human mouth is a sewer. (I think its the grumpy one who was hell bent on returning to the ocean.) I totally agree. Its amazing isn't it? You eat with it, do raunchy french kisses with it. Speech is impossible without it ..The possibilities are endless. Yet it must be the grossest part of the human anatomy.

6. Finally it was done. I was supposed to rinse. *Yuck, double yuck.*
The dentist, failing terribly in social skills and tact mentioned casually that "Blood when mixed with saliva becomes viscous. You rinse now, after i stitch up the wound, you must swallow the blood, no more rinsing for the first hour at least. "

7. And yes! i was stitched up and ready to go. The good dentist asked if i wanted my tooth back. I said yes. (Hell, this cost me $350 bucks. More than half a month's pay. I'm going take a pic, post it here and gross everyone out!) ANd he popped it into a plastic baggy, with blood and all! I held it up, appraised it with a disgusted look and requested that he rinse it first.

8. I checked my face in the mirror by his sink and found bloodstains *gasp* at the corners of my mouth. I grabbed a tissue, wet it a bit and wiped. The dentist assistant was kind enough to offer me an alcohol swipe. Hell, he could have informed me or something. Obviously this guy doesn't believe in after-sales service.

9. The aftermath.
I'm on my fourth piece of guaze. Taken a painkiller, antibiotics and rinsed with antiseptic mouthwash. I look ridiculous with a piece of Kodomo Cooling Adhesive stuck on my jaw. (Been advised by Spidey to use an ice-pack to reduce swelling and bleeding. I improvised with a tui4 re4 tie1.) Other than a dull throbbing sensation in my jaw and some bleeding i'm good as new. I suppose i can eat something by evening. I feasted on half a pack of Hershey's Kisses last night to stock up on carbo. They were on promotion at NTUC, going at $3.55 a pack instead of 4 plus. Miss Hufferphish's crazed logic at work here. Else i'll just have to survive on bubble tea or ice milo for a day.

By the way i'm feeling quite happy that the offensive tooth has finally been removed for good. Despite his lack of tact, i find this dentist morbidly funny in his own way. The tooth is really quite huge. And it came out in one clean piece plus a tiny piece of root tip. Thankfully there are no complications. Worse i heard was no sensation and loss of sense of taste. Imagine a foodie who can't taste!! Horrors! Or having to cut the tooth up into fractions and taking it out piece by piece. Pity its impacted, if it had grown properly, it would probably be the last tooth standing when i'm old and wrinkley. Possible use? Hooking dentures.